Wading Into Fantasy In Hopes Of Discerning The Reality Of Poor Umpiring
Today, one of our authors take a tongue-in-cheek approach to lay out some thoughts on the numerous missed and bad calls that have occurred in MLB so far this season.
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Leading Off
What If I Told You Umpires Know Exactly What They Are Doing?
By Sean Millerick
As the 2022 MLB season approaches the quarter pole, a few things are becoming clear. The Dodgers and Yankees are very good. The Mets are good…but still cursed. MLB changes baseballs faster than the weather.
Oh, and one more thing: Thus far, the umpiring has been otherworldly terrible.
For most baseball fans, the breaking point probably came on April 25th during Sunday Night Baseball when Angel Hernandez called strike three on Kyle Schwarber on a pitch that was closer to hitting third base than catching the corner of home plate. Then again, there have been so many horrible calls, that each fanbase probably has a particular grievance in mind. Just over a month later, I’m still shaking my head over the umpiring in an April 20th contest between the Marlins and the Cardinals. But what if I told you that it was all part of a long con to get fans and players fully behind bringing the electronic strike zone to MLB?
It's a change that has been considered by MLB for some time. This season saw the next step in that path, with robo-umps being rolled out in the Pacific Coast League. After giving it a trial in independent ball, the system is now at the highest level of the minors. However, turning balls and strikes over to a computer has been met by a fair amount of resistance from all quarters, be it fans, managers, or players. Some of it is just skepticism that the system could work. A lot of it is about defending the game’s traditions, which many feel have been under siege since MLB commissioner Rob Manfred turned his eye towards improving the pace of play. Removing the human element entirely out of umpiring would just be another affront.
This past March, when an eagle-eyed photographer managed to capture Manfred practicing his golf swing during a break in negotiations about the future of the MLB season, fans and players saw what they wanted to see: another lapse in judgment from a terrible commissioner.
What they really saw though, was just another masterful move in the four-dimensional chess game Manfred has been playing for years. The object of the game? Bringing robot umpires to the major leagues. Because if everyone believes their commissioner is dumb enough to let that photo be taken, no one will suspect the truth:
Manfred and MLB are directing umpires to blow calls on purpose.
You heard it here first. It’s a masterstroke by Manfred and the only explanation that makes sense. I mean, employing umpires who are really this bad would be lunacy. Umpires putting this little effort into their performance when replacing them is so often discussed would be a choke job of historic proportions. But paying umpires to take a dive, so that fans and players pivot from questioning automation to demanding it? It makes perfect (sarcastic) sense.
MLB wants to modernize through the automated ball and strike system. Umpires want to remain employed and have a powerful union to help ensure that they do. Fortunately, MLB is a billion-dollar industry. There aren’t even 100 umpires active in MLB right now. Their starting salary is less than $200,000, and even the best of them makes well under the minimum salary for an MLB player. MLB paying their salaries into retirement is a small price to pay for bringing baseball into the 21st century. It’s a small expense in the grand scheme, and one with a reasonable expiration date. It’s not as if these umpires are in their twenties. Even Joe West, whose sources have long revealed him to be immortal, eventually chose retirement.
As for getting the majority of fans behind it, in a sport where a sizable percentage of the fanbase has probably asked their grandchildren for help figuring out email? That’s the harder sell and the reason for having to resort to game-blowing skullduggery. And it will only escalate as we head into the summer months.
The Schwarber incident- an epic meltdown replete with manager ejection in a nationally televised game- seems likely to be just Phase One. Seeing both managers tossed in the same game for arguing balls and strikes, or perhaps a player chasing an umpire with an iPad playing an MLB.TV feed is rumored to be Phase Two. Causing an irate optometrist to charge the field, putting an MLB team in the position of needing multiple pitchers to play the field because so many hitters were ejected, and MLB teams starting to display Umpire Scorecards on the jumbotron are all on deck for Phase 3.
Pray that we don’t see Phase 4. But if you want a hint, fans of Leslie Nielsen and The Naked Gun already have.
Sean Millerick is a diehard Miami Marlins fan but still finds cause for hope every Spring Training. He currently writes for @CallToThePen. You can find him on Twitter @miasportsminute.