Believe It Or Not Events From 2023 Season
PLUS: FIVE OWNERS COOPERSTOWN SHOULD CONSIDER
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Pregame Pepper
Did you know…
Friend and colleague Jayson Stark of The Athletic reports the following:
Pitcher Anthony DeSclafani once broke his toe while playing the piano with his son . .
Evan Longoria missed three weeks when he hurt his back getting off a toilet in San Francisco . . .
Dodgers pitcher Tony Gonsolin missed the first month of 2023 after spraining his ankle walking off the field . . .
Kyle Schwarber, who finished the year with a .199 batting average, had a better on-base percentage (.343) than Dante Bichette (.339) even though the Toronto shortstop batted .306 . . .
Yan Gomes is the only catcher to hit two triples in a game over the past 95 years — and they came in consecutive at-bats last year . . .
Six days before his 2023 perfect game last June, Domingo German gave up 10 runs and got only 10 outs while facing 23 hitters.
Leading Off
2023: Just one of those years. Wasn’t it? Ermmm, not quite.
By Jeff Kallman
This is the kind of year 2023 happened to be: last 27 June, the Mariners loaded the bases on the Nationals with nobody out, needed only three pitches to do it, and never saw one ball put in play to load them up. Mariners broadcaster Dave Jaegler provided that nugget to The Athletic’s Hall of Fame writer Jayson Stark.
That’s what opening the 10th with a free cookie on second base, an intentional walk (you don’t have to waste four pitches to put the man on anymore, remember?), and a quick-pitch violation on a 3-0 count does for you.
That was the game’s good news. The bad news: the Mariners started putting balls into play. A pop foul out behind the plate; a ground out one out later to end that inning; and, a fly out leading off the bottom of the 11th before a pair of game-ending strikeouts. In between, the Nats scored three in the top of the 11th to win, 7-4.
The further bad news is that that gem couldn’t possibly top what transpired between Red Sox reliever Kenley Jansen and Cardinals catcher Willson Contreras on May 13: a three-pitch walk during which one of those pitches was a strike. It went like this, according to Stark: a quick-pitch warning to Jansen, then strike one, but a quick-pitch violation turning it into ball one, two more balls, and another quick-pitch violation for the walk.
And neither of those topped the way Yankee relief pitcher Tommy Kahnle struck the side out against the Red Sox in the ninth on 18 June: swinging strikeout, called strikeout, strikeout without a pitch being thrown when Red Sox batter Rob Refsnyder was dinged for a clock violation.
But the games got a little bit shorter (by less than you might think) and that was what really mattered, right? Long as Commissioner Pepperwinkle’s Mad Science Lab produced the results desired most by attention-deficit fans to whom baseball games are disruptions to their cell phone parties at the ballparks?
Who cares that Cody Bellinger got a standing O the first time he appeared in enemy silks in Dodger Stadium . . . and strike one before he even saw a pitch, thanks to a pitch clock violation? Shut up, dumbass, and start talking about why we’re still “coddling” starting pitchers and not letting them pitch nine or until their shoulders and elbows blow out, whichever comes first!
Meanwhile, elsewhere around last year’s Show:
We’re Still the Champions Dept.—The World Series-winning Rangers, baseball’s eighth-best team last year, beat its 12th-best team (the Diamondbacks) . . . after following a 40-20 season’s beginning with a 50-52 season’s finish.
Running of the Bull Dept.—They also won it with a bullpen that had two more blown saves than consummated saves.
Bomber Away Dept.—They even won it with their biggest bopper (Adolís Garcia) leaving the Series with a Game Three injury—but not losing again after that happened.
Sweep Tag Dept.—Maybe last year’s Orioles weren’t yet ready for October’s full prime time, after all. But they did do something unheard of in the American League’s entire history: they finished having gone 91 straight regular-season series without being swept even once. That’d teach them: in the same year their legendary third baseman nicknamed Hoover went to the Elysian Fields, the Orioles, almost promptly, got swept out of their division series by the Rangers.
Unlucky Strikes Dept.—The White Sox pitching staff delivered nine games with 15+ strikeouts each. The opposition against whom those pitchers delivered those games won all nine of them.
Take Your No-Hitter and Shove It Dept.—Near the end of last April, White Sox pitcher Lance Lynn no-hit the Rays for six innings. In the top of the seventh, the Rays said that’s what you think—a lead-off two-strike homer and an RBI double chased Lynn, the bullpen surrendered eight more including on a pair of homers. The Rays ended up winning, 12-3.
Fool in the Pool Dept.—Rays relief pitcher Pete Fairbanks turned up at a press gathering when returning from the injured list (hip inflammation) . . . with a black eye incurred trying to dunk on his three-year-old son in a game of swimming pool basketball. Fairbanks pulled the hoop into his face. Don’t give up your day job, Pete.
Flush and Blush Dept.—Diamondbacks third baseman Evan Longoria was only supposed to miss a week with a back strain last July. It turned into three . . . when he aggravated it rising back up from a hotel thunder mug in San Francisco.
Some Reassembly Required Dept.—While recovering from a hamstring injury, embattled Yankee Josh Donaldson forgot the three most dangerous words in a father’s vocabulary. (Some assembly required.) He put a toy together for his little daughter . . . and sliced his thumb.
Burn Appetit Dept.—Not to be outdone, headed-to-retirement Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright cooked breakfast sausage for his son . . . and burned a finger doing so.
Piano Concerto No. 1 in D Saster Dept.—You’d love to know just what they were playing when Giants pitcher Anthony DeSclafini’s season ended in late July . . . after fracturing his toe while playing a piano with his son. “Tip Toe Through the Tulips?” “Footstompin’ Music?”
Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory Dept.—How did the Reds lead the Pirates 9-0 after three innings in one September game—and lose? How did the Red Sox batter the Orioles with 23 hits in a September game—and lose? How did the Phillies hit game-tying or lead-changing home runs in the eighth or ninth innings five times between late August and early September—and lose all five?
The Silence was Deafening Dept.—All Orioles broadcaster Kevin Brown did was discuss, over a team-provided graphic, the Orioles winning more against the Rays in 2023 (three of five through late July) than in the previous three years. (Three of 21.) All he got was suspended “indefinitely”—it turned out to be 16 games. And all Commissioner Pepperwinkle had to say about it (note: the owners extended him through 2009 on the same day Brown was last seen and heard on the air before the suspension) was . . . squat, squat, and double squat.
So you thought the bazillion dollar men of Citi Field had issues?
Jeff Kallman is an IBWAA Life Member who writes Throneberry Fields Forever. He has written for the Society for American Baseball Research, The Hardball Times, Sports-Central, and other publications. He has lived in Las Vegas since 2007, where he plays the guitar and writes music when not writing baseball. The poor sap remains a Met fan since the day they were born.
Cleaning Up
Five Owners Who Belong in the Hall of Fame
By Dan Schlossberg
The main criterion for Hall of Fame consideration is choosing a candidate who influenced, improved, or changed the game.
That applies to owners as well as managers, though more than a handful of innovative owners still remain outside of Cooperstown. Unfairly.
So far, the Hall of Fame gallery has plaques that honor Charlie Comiskey, Barney Dreyfuss, William Hulbert, Effa Manley, Walter O’Malley, Alex Pompez, Cumberland Posey, Jacob Ruppert, Bill Veeck, J.K. Wilkinson, and Tom Yawkey.
But there are surely more than 11 club owners who should be enshrined. Here are five, all of them instrumental in impacting America’s national pastime after the Second World War:
Charlie Finley — Arrogant, abrasive, and obnoxious, Finley was still a visionary who correctly warned against free agency and arbitration, sparred with Bowie Kuhn and Marvin Miller, but teamed with cousin Carl Finley to win three straight World Series (1972-74) with a bare-bones front office. He introduced colored uniforms and baseballs, encouraged facial hair, pushed for night World Series games, and exploited every trade opportunity — even dealing manager Chuck Tanner to Pittsburgh for catcher Manny Sanguillen.
George Steinbrenner — He got a later start (1973) than Finley and was willing to spend billions on his team, creating a salary spiral still spinning to this day. He monopolized such top-tier free agents as Catfish Hunter and Reggie Jackson, kept his club in tabloid headlines by feuding with Billy Martin and others, and was a hands-on, outspoken owner who was always present at his team’s games.
Ted Turner — After he saved the floundering Braves from leaving Atlanta, the city named a stadium after him. The founder of CNN tried to rebuild the ballclub by signing top free agents from Gary Matthews to Bruce Sutter and Al Hrabosky. The world-class yachtsman also joined in pre-game promotions, such as pushing ping-pong balls with his nose and Wet T-Shirt night. He was also wise enough to hire Bobby Cox as both manager and general manager — at separate times. Wih Jane Fonda on his arm, he did his best to stay awake during the 1995 World Series, the first Atlanta won.
Horace Stoneham — Spent 40 years at the helm of the Giants, fleeing west with Walter O’Malley to keep their rivalry intact. Hired Leo Durocher as manager, signed Willie Mays, and won five pennants plus a surprise world championship in 1954. An early advocate of integrating the majors, he signed the first Japanese player after opening the gates of the majors to Latin America, hiring bilingual scouts and signing such players as Orlando Cepeda, Juan Marichal, and the Alou brothers.
Gene Autry — The Singing Cowboy was the first owner of the Los Angeles Angels after it began play in 1961 as an American League expansion team. Autry, who appeared in 93 films, was such a beloved figure in Anaheim that the team retired No. 26 (“the 26th man”) in his honor after his ownership ended.
Honorable Mention: Bill DeWitt Jr., Mike Ilitch, Joan Payson, Chris von der Ahe, Phil Wrigley.
Former AP sportswriter Dan Schlossberg of Fair Lawn, NJ covers baseball for forbes.com, Memories & Dreams, USA TODAY Sports Weekly, Sports Collectors Digest, and many other outlets. His e.mail is ballauthor@gmail.com.
Timeless Trivia: Celebrity Owners
In addition Gene Autry and Ted Turner, baseball has had several celebrity owners who found fame off the diamond.
When they weren’t making one of their seven “Road to” comedies for Hollywood, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby purchased shares of major-league teams . . .
Hope, a Cleveland native, bought a minority share of the Indians from Bill Veeck in 1946 and kept it, making promotional appearance for the team after Veeck left. In 1968, he tried to buy the second-edition Washington Senators but was out-bid by Minneapolis hotel man Bob Short . . .
Crosby also bought into baseball in ‘46, investing in the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates. He also bought into the Detroit Tigers, creating a rare dual investment overlooked by Commissioner Ford Frick because the singer owned only a few stripes of the Tigers. Crosby kept his 15 per cent stake in the Pirates until he died in 1977 . . .
Another singer, Danny Kaye, was one of the original owners of the Seattle Mariners, a 1977 American League expansion team. A lifelong baseball fan, Kaye was a Brooklyn native who grew up as a Dodgers fan . . .
Bill Maher, whose hour-long political comedy talk show airs Friday nights on HBO, lives in Los Angeles but is a minority owner (VERY much a minority under billionaire owner Steve Cohen) of the New York Mets . . .
And let’s not forget 19th century owner Chris von der Ahe, who created the American Association — then a major league — and streamlined Sportsman’s Park, a St. Louis edifice that stood the test of time. He also sold beer mugs and whiskey shots, served as the face of the team, and build a statue to himself outside the stadium. His St. Louis Brown Stockings are now known as the Cardinals.
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